Friday, April 18, 2014

The Bloom Falling Somewhat Off the Rose

Dear 90-Day Novel:

Okay, I just want to say up front that I think you're really special. These last three weeks, they've changed me. You've introduced me to worlds I never knew before. I think about you every night, and our daily dates have been inspiring. You're an inspiration. I'm glad you're in my life. 


I have to say, some days it's been hard. Wait wait, before you get upset, let me finish. I know it's not news to you that you can sometimes be... demanding. Remember, we used to laugh about it? And I know it's what I signed on for but... I mean, every day? Do we really need to meet every single day? I want to be with you, sweetie, but it can get a little overwhelming. Not you, just... Life. Trying to fit it all in. And sometimes I feel like I need a little break, you know, to recharge, to find myself again, (and, you know, to check the Twitter and the Book of Face from time to time. :) )

Oh, I can just see you, reading this, that little furrow starting to deepen between your eyebrows, that pulse on the side of your neck asserting itself... don't go there. I know you were straightforward about what you expected. I know your feelings about commitment. After all, it's there in your name. All or nothing. 90 days or bust. And I'm not bailing. I am absolutely not. It's just that sometimes I feel like I don't have it in me, every day, and I have to confess that sometimes... I'm just going through the motions (I'm just being honest here).


I thought you'd want to know. God, now I feel awful. Not even a month in, and I'm already balking? What's wrong with me? Jesus. I'm weak. It's me, it's totally me. Let me prove myself. I want to go the distance with you, baby, I do. Please give me another chance. I promise I'll do better. I love you. Just forget I ever wrote this, okay?

See you tomorrow,


PS. I am totally counting this letter as today's work. 

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