In Which we Bid Adieu to Zac Efron, and 90-Day Challenges

It's finished. Three long months ago, I undertook a challenge to write a novel in 90 days, with the aid of a book called, uncannily enough, "The 90-Day Novel." I took with my on my journey my friend and colleague Holly Myer, who was going to draw ninety illustrations in that same time period. How did we do? Well, let's just say, I waited the WHOLE night, but Rumpelstiltskin did not show up to rescue me and spin my straw into narrative gold. Damn him. Holly fared better:

James Sie: Saw your blog. The Olsen twins. You really want to finish this whole thing with the Olsen twins?

Holly Myer: I don't know why it had to end with the Olsens. It just happened. I’ve been watching a lot of Full House.

JS: I'm so sorry. Trauma conditioning? Or John Stamos?

HM: I love John Stamos more than words can say. I've done extensive studies on his face, and I've discovered many similarities between his Full House-years face and Zac Efron's current face.

This is the last Efron photo
I will ever post on my blog.
Hand to God.

JS: You definitely have a type.. He's like an early Efron prototype.

HM:  Exactly.

JS: Glad to see the technology has advanced.

So, how did the challenge end for you? Cross the finish line?

HM: I ended up with 90 drawings. I aimed for 100, but 90 is still good!

JS: A drawing a day! Perfect!

HM:  Yep! Very proud of the collection overall.

JS: You've got quite a lot of stuff to work with! What were some of your favorites?

HM: : One of a family photo of my dad and brother, the OITNB characters, and one from the last week-a portrait of Juliette Gordon Low, founder of Girl Scouts.

JS: You talked about how it ended up being waaaay different than you imagined it being when you started out. How?

HM:  My original idea was to illustrate all my blog entries/essays thus far, based on GIFs I've used, but most ended up being based on random family photos, frames from TV/movies, or historical portraits. Though, I still did some based on the GIFs.

JS: Why did it go that way? And do you wish you had done more of the GIF's, or is this new direction giving you more?

HM:  I think by starting with that idea was a good warm-up, but getting exercise with the digital art made me want to just run wild and abandon the path I'd set out on… but that’s okay, because I ended up with a series of illustrations that still says something! And maybe I can incorporate them into a collection with the essays so far.

JS: Certainly the iconic TV images can be in a section all their own. Maybe with commentary.

HM: Definitely.
How about YOUUU, sir? Do you have a first draft??

JS: Well, I wrote just shy of 27000 words. I have 108 pages completed.

HM: THAT'S SO MANY PAGES!

JS: Yah, but it's only about a third of the way done. HOWEVER, if I'm being honest, judging from my last book, it ended up being about my usual pace— a little more than a page a day… So my natural tendencies pulled stronger than my self-imposed challenge.

HM: Nature wins once again!

JS: "Nature, Mr. Allnut, was what we were put on this earth to rise above."

HM: Um…

JS: Say it with a quavering, strident voice and you might get it.

HM: When I said it out loud, it was accidentally in Maya Rudolph's Whitney Houston impersonation voice. Is that close?

JS:  Not even.

HM: Sorry. I had to google that.

JS: I will do my Katharine Hepburn impression for you some time. You will be impressed.

"Maybe you'd get a little more writing done without this Satan juice."

JS: ANYWAY, I do have enough of a start, and enough research, that I can continue. The challenge did give me that-- a flying leap.

HM: Oh well. But YES! See, we both made big plans that were super optimistic.

JS: You know what the big downfall for me was? The whole seven days a week thing. I needed one day to get the rest of my life in order. One day of respite. I struggled to write every day, and once I transgressed that rule, it was easy to let the whole thing slide. Like, "Oh well, if I'm not getting this part of it done I'm already screwed so..."

HM: Yeah, it's easy to feel like you're sliding, so you may as well give up.

JS: Exactly. Today, however, feels DELICIOUS. So many possibilities of things to do, with no guilt. How 'bout you? Are you going to miss the pressure?

HM: Nope, not one bit. Now I feel great, since I have some good samples… which I wouldn't have if I didn't do this whole thing

JS: And what's your plan for going forward?

HM: Build a portfolio website, and try to connect to people in the world of editorial illustration. But also/mostly, write! I missed writing. I still worked on essays, but didn't post them. I'm excited to go back to sharing.

And you? Will you keep working on the book?

JS: I think so, though now there’s also a short story I've been wanting to revise, plus an old stage adaptation that I’ve got to revamp for a production next year. And selling the book that’s already written. It’s all in the realm of good productive stuff.

HM: Awesome!! You've got the writing activated, so keep going, even if it's on other projects!

JS: Well, I'm glad we went through this together.

HM: Me too. Thank you so much for inviting me to do this with you!

JS: It was MUCH less lonely a venture.

HM: Agreed.

JS: Until next time... any final thoughts?

HM: When I was little, I got very frustrated when I didn't have time to create every picture/craft/play I wanted to. My mom would tell me, "Holly, it's okay. You don't have to do ALL your ideas. Some ideas just stay ideas. And the ones that become real things are the best ones anyway."

I think about that all the time, even now.

JS: Wise words, Mom. I think she trumps Zac Efron. Speaking of which, how many Efrons got created?

HM: Only 4, surprisingly.

JS: He was such a part of this whole challenge, sadly. Our patron saint. No wonder I was doomed.

HM:

JS: Nice. It's like he's looking down from the heavens. Good night, Ms. Golightly.

HM: Goodnight!

The Bitter and the Sweet Blog-- Guess Who I Play?

In which we check in our participants of the 90-Day Challenge, one happy and one hapless, at the 2/3 mark, and discover that things are looking up. But not for everyone.

Some of Holly's work

James Sie: We’re on day, what? 56? Are you on track?

Holly Meyers: Okay, slightly less focused that I thought, bc I'm still technically behind by a few. BUT some pictures are way more detailed than the original parameters required, so I give myself some credit for that.

JS: How MANY are you behind?

HM: Only 9.

JS: Hmm.. last time it was 7.

HM: IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY. THIS WEEKEND WAS BUSY.

JS: Oh, so BIRTHDAYS are exempt. And busy WEEKENDS. Can we be just done with this?

HM: NO, we will get through it.

JS: C’mon, let’s just delete all our blogs and no one will be the wiser. We'll wake up in the shower and it will all have been a dream.

HM: And we'll be our 17-year-old selves again, and go back to high school and try to get recruited for college basketball. Oh wait that's a Zac movie.

         JS: It all comes back to Zac.

         HM: Always does.

JS: It's negative conditioning; I'm starting to HATE the thought of Zac. Because he represents crappy writing and guilt.

HM: No way. By the end of these 90 days, when you have your first draft, 
he'll be a vision again.

JS: If I have a first draft. IF.

HM: So how is it going?

JS: Everything I wrote in my last blog was a lie. All that affirming shit. I’m miserable.

HM: Oh noooooo.

JS: Just drudgery drudgery and wondering what the hell I'm doing. Though it's amazing how a promise to myself becomes so binding, like I'm pretending it's an actual deadline.  I'm afraid that I'm going to get to the end of this and then look at all the wreckage and not know what to do with it.

         [full disclosure: the book does warn against this darkness descending, and says I'll eventually move beyond it]

HM: If that happens, at least you will have created some original wreckage, and that counts as producing something.

JS: Hrmph. Anyhoo, many days missed, word count perilously low. I keep thinking I should just stop now and work on it in my usual methodic way, but that would preempt the challenge.

HM: Exactly. We're in this challenge for a reason, so chaalllleeenngggeee ourselves and our normal patterns. Maybe the last third will be the breakthrough phase.

JS: Maybe gilded monkeys will fly out of my butt.

 How are you feeling about it?

HM: I'm feeling good, but nervous! A few people at the new job have caught wind of this 90-day thing and have gone so far as to send my blog to art people. Like, legit art directors and stuff. It's freaking me out. Now I feel like I have to get super organized with a real website and business cards or something.

JS: Wow!

HM: Yeah. Mostly, said Art People have been very friendly and polite, giving me good advice about the business of editorial illustration.

JS: Editorial illustration. Explain, please.

HM: Magazine art directors hire people (like... me?!) to create illustrations for articles, online products, and even covers. It's a lot of freelance, so if I want to get in the game, I need to be legit.

JS: Oh! And is that the field you've been focused on?

HM: Well, it wasn't my original plan! I thought maybe it would get my blog a little more traffic (which it has), but I didn't think I'd need to mobilize so soon! I actually got one little gig for a fellow NYU alum, to create a poster for an event in Brooklyn next month!

JS: Look at you! Gilded monkeys aflight!

Does it affect your work on the challenge, knowing it's being scrutinized?

HM: Big time. I thought I could get away with casually posting just anything, but now I'm paralyzed with fear.

JS: Some actual trepidation!!

HM: I only sit at my computer paralyzed with fear until I remember that someone thought it was worthy of a magazine, then I feel confident again.

JS: Do your hands get tired, squeezing all those lemons into lemonade?

HM: Bahahaha!

JS: So, I guess this has all been worth it. I guess it ennobles MY efforts, knowing that it will have gotten YOU somewhere. I feel... downright philanthropic.

HM: Seriously!! I wouldn't have done this without the challenge you set up! THANK YOU.But you're not off the hook about your own writing.

JS: [grouse grouse grouse] Okay, I guess I can suffer through one more month.

HM: Yay k bye!

[Note: Sorry if there's weird spaces and tabbing and stuff; for some reason this posting has been acting up and I'm too tired to try and figure it out. Also, I figure I should actually do some, oh you know, actual WRITING, instead of mucking with it more.]

Zac Efron Hijacks My Week 4 Blog

Disney movies. And now Zac Efron. Since beginning this 90-Day Novel Challenge I've been checking in with my cohort and pal Holly Myer (who is going to be drawing 90 illustrations in 90 days) and our conversation has been turning ever to the sunny side, much to my dismay. I chalk it up to Holly's pernicious and persistent optimism. I thought I was immune but perhaps it has taken root even in this parched and barren land. The girl will not go dark! I swear, if my book ends with a basketball game or a musical number set in the halls of a high school, my attorneys will be contacting her.

We might blame Holly's positive attitude on her upbringing by a Methodist Pastor mother, but Doug's Dad was a Methodist minister and we know how that turned out:

Here's our chat-conversation from last week. Yes, I realize it's late, but, you know, I've been WRITING (and yes, I have been making my quota):

Holly Meyer: Hello! it's been a while!

James Sie Okay, before we get started, I have something serious to discuss with you.

HM: Oh wow, what is it??

JS:

HM: PERF

JS: I don't want you to be upset, but… I'm not sure I'm feeling it anymore.

HM: Zac? Or the project?

JS:

JS: I mean, he's gone from being this friendly, approachable guy to something more… fratboy-ish. That perpetual pursed grimace on his face, like he's vaguely pissed off—

HM: Well. Maybe it's to promote the new movie where he's a pissed-off frat boy.

JS: —that macho posturing— wait... Are you saying that he's actually so good as a performer that…that he's inhabiting the IMAGE of a pissed-off frat boy, but is not actually becoming one?

HM: He's that gooood.

JS: Ohhhh.  I'm back in. I'm guessing, judging by your pastel Easter Zac, that you have not lost the faith.

HM: Nope. Never.

JS: Let's talk projects. It's almost been a month, can you believe it? A MONTH.

HM: I knowwwww! I'm a little behind.

JS: How behind? 

HM: 23. I can make it up!

JS: Okay… not bad...What happened?

HM: I had a few busy weekends of family Easter, then wedding mania. Excuses, I know. I haven't lost motivation at all, just time. How's your progress?

JS: Oy. I'm in a terrible terrible mood today, because tomorrow I have to start ACTUALLY WRITING.

HM: Ooooh. The planning stage is over?

JS: Yes. It's been great just doodling, as it were, without the pressure of writing. And I hadn't put NEAR enough time into it, but I did show up for at least fifteen minutes every day but one.

HM: That's pretty good!

JS: Now, I've got to write. Around 1000 words a day-- 3-4 pages. IMPOSSIBLE!

HM: Oh wowww that's a lot!

JS: I'm the kind of person who, in high school and college, would just compose on the typewriter. No

drafts. Everything had to be perfect. This was the days of no cutting and pasting, you know. Or do you know? You probably don't know. There was only white out, if you had a typo. No do-overs. Or correction tape. WAAAAAAAY before your time.

HM: I used to use a typewriter in my mom's office!

JS: For your ABC's!

HM: I WAS 12! It taught me a lot about patience and attention to detail.

JS: So the idea of allowing oneself to write badly, just to get it all down, is going to be extremely uncomfortable for me. I don't know what's going to happen. It IS a lot of pages!

HM: That's the idea of a big challenge though!

JS: Sigh… I guess… If I get stuck I'm just going to keep writing "All work and no play make Jack a dull boy."

 

JS: Have you had any epiphanies while drawing, in connection with your book?

HM: I've realized I admire strong female characters. Most of the reference photos I've banked are of ladies with opinions.

JS: On your tumblr I recognize Lena Dunham, but who's the first woman?

HM: I just posted a Kristen Wiig, in a scene from Bridesmaids. She's a character who feels like she's losing her connection with an old friend, and having trouble finding her way on her own.

It's interesting, especially, as my friends are starting to get married! I feel like I'm always defending my life as a single lady. Stuff like that. GIFs I've been using all year suddenly have more meaning to me.

JS: Does 2 more months of this stretch out like a barren wasteland, or a yellow  brick road?

HM: Yellow brick road, for sure. (Dorothy's another good character!) What about you? Especially now that you're starting to write 1000 words a day?!

JS: Tomorrow. I'm filled with dread. Because I'm going to have 60 days worth of dreck to despise.
How's that for optimism!

HM: Room for improvement.

JS: The author talks a lot about self-destruction, about not letting doubt impede you. I do have to  say this: tonight, I went for a walk with the dog and almost immediately he began pulling, straining at the leash. There, as if it were waiting for me, was a coyote. He just sat there in the dark, staring at me.

HM: Ooooooh.

Look right above the stone post--you can see its eyes shining. I swear.

JS: "Don't back out now." I imagined it saying.

HM: Seriously. THE ANIMALS KNOW. Now you really have to. Or else.

JS: Yeah, they might ambush me otherwise. Okay, I've got to get to sleep so I can get up and write (eeeeeeeesh). Let's check in soon. Wish me luck.

HM: GOOOOD LUUUUUCK.

No April Fools— 90 Day Challenge Begins Today!

I’ve done it. After a massive assist from my illustrator, Sungyoon Choi, the manuscript of Still Life Las Vegas has been delivered to my editor Sara at St. Martin's Press. Nothing so hefty as a giant stack of papers boxed up and shipped, just a digital PDF Dropboxed over the internet, but it's a weighty milestone nonetheless. Godspeed and a safe voyage, oh little book!

Now, what do I do with the year before it actually makes it to print? I can think of nothing better than to begin something new, and I'm getting my ass in gear with the help of a book called “The 90-Day Novel. 

(Incidentally-- what's up with all of these 90-day improvement programs? Novel in 90 Days, P-90X,  90-Day rehab— it seems one can do ANYTHING in 90 days. Has "90 days" become the new "40 days and 40 nights" for our non-biblical times?) 

I’ve finished the prep from the book, which included writing about my fears (chief amongst them being the urge to throw the book across the room) and what I believe most strongly in (pot pies). I’m ready for my start date of today, April 1st. 

I’ve decided to document this process (misery loves company) and I’m joined in my 90-day odyssey by Holly Myer, writer of the blog “Unemployed on Purpose,” who also has a project she wants to get off the ground. This 26-year-old, unrepentant optimist has agreed to regularly check in with me, just so we can keep each other honest. Here’s the text transcript of our initial Facebook chat:

James Sie: Okay, before we begin: which character from "Girls" do you most identify with?

Holly Myer: I'm 1/2 Hannah and 1/2 Shosh. I've thought a lot about it.

JS: Excellent answer! You pass the first test.

So... let's talk about our projects, shall we? You first.

HM: Okay. I want to make at least 100 illustrations for my based-on-blog book.

JS: What kind of illustrations, and in what medium?

HM: Digital drawing/painting via Photoshop.
I hope to have a black/white and full color version of each one.

JS: 100... it'll be a little more than one a day, then, yah? Will you feel like Julie whatsername going through every one of Julia Child's recipes?

Does that make me
Meryl Streep? Yay

HM: Yeah, at least one a day. And yes, I do rather see myself as an Amy Adams-type in this situation. If only Chris Messina were my husband.

JS: We'll work on that.

HM: Great. I wish I could say I was planning to study the works of a legend like Julia Child, but I'm just going through my own essays to think about them again, with a more visual perspective

JS: I, for my part, am writing a novel about coyotes. Real ones, not smuggler ones.

HM: I'm hooked, tell me more!

JS: I'm hoping it's going to be like Game of Thrones, but with canis latrans. And set in Los Angeles. Lots of nudity. With fur. Or let's say... "Watership Down" meets "The Sopranos."

HM: That's an incredible mashup. Sounds like it has HBO written all over it.

JS: There are coyotes in our neighborhood, and when they pass me and my dog  on our walk they stare at me as if to say, "Man, are you working on that thing yet?"

Holly, thanks for pushing me to do this. And I'm sure your boundless optimism will be equal parts infuriating and inspiring.

HM: You're welcome! In sixth grade, I won the Initiative Megaskill Award, and it's one of my proudest accomplishments.

JS: I’m frightened.

We have two people who may be joining in. Grace is working on a screenplay, and Wendy is wanting to do a daily kind of journal, but still unsure about the parameters. They're down with the 90 days. So, a variety!

HM: Wooo! WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER [Note: “High School Musical” reference]

JS: Though I keep feeling like this is "Ten Little Indians" and we'll be whittled down one by one. [Note: this has already happened, as Grace has unfortunately had to bow out]

Do I lose you with the "Ten Little Indians" reference?

HM: No, I get that one! And I refuse to be whittled.

JS: So, Thelma, ready to rev the engine and go over the cliff?

HM: Yes, Louise!
(Thelma and Louise, right?)

Holly would have made a GIF.
I just... can't. 

JS: Very good.

HM: (I've never watched the whole movie)

JS: Shit. Sorry for the spoiler. WATCH THE WHOLE MOVIE, FOR CHRISSAKE!

HM: It's okay. Troy Bolton goes to Cal at the end of “High School Musical 3: Senior Year.” Now we're even.

JS: Maybe we should just leave it there. Check on you next week?

HM: Yes, please!

JS: Good luck! Happy April!

HM: To you, as well!

I'm a Twit, and Other Revelations

So, first thing: I’ve joined that adult ball pit of ampersands, hashtags, and bad abbreviations: Twitter. Can U blieve it? @SieJames. 

Twitter has all the self-absorption and addictive monitoring of Facebook, but with fewer words. Smaller chunks of creamy indulgence, kind of like bite-sized Three Musketeer Bars. Love me. Love me! LOVE ME! my @ pleads, scanning the twitterverse for Followers. I’ll like you if you like me! I’ve made a platform! Come sit on it! Listen to my words! LISTEN TO MY WORDS!

This is the book you're
gonna have to go get.

#GodSaveMySoul. 

In more productive news, I’ve decided to tackle my need for a writing deadline head-on by imposing one on myself. I’m going to follow the directives of a book: The 90-Day Novel: Unlock the Story Within. It’s written by Alan Watts, bestselling author of Diamond Dogs. It’s all the rage out here in Hollywood, with friends of mine involved in 90-day screenplays, 90-day stage plays, and, for all I know, 90-day haikus. In his book, Watts wants you to write fast, without any left-brain criticism or revision, just to get the story down on the page. He’s got the whole three months mapped out, and by the end of it, you’re supposed to have a first draft. What could possibly go wrong?

My first step is to commit to the program by telling everyone here that I’m doing it. No backing out; or else what will my tens of readers think of me? The second step is to invite YOU to share in the pain fun. I’m sure that there are some budding authors among you who have been wanting to get a novel out of their head and onto the page. Let me be your kick in the butt! Join me! I’ll check in with you and offer inspiration and/or threats. C’mon! I want to start April 1st, so you have plenty of time to get the book and be ready to go. This is your chance— you could have a first draft by summer!

I’ve already got one cohort, my friend Holly Myer, with whom I worked on Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness. She was the casting assistant at Nickelodeon, and is now a casting coordinator at Dreamworks. I discovered that she also writes when I came across her blog, Unemployed on Purpose, which she is now wanting to turn into a book, complete with her own drawings. Holly is kicky and fun. She is also, I should mention, twenty-six, which means she will not get any of my “McMillan & Wife” references. That may be a problem. It also means she’s up on all that social media jumble that pains me so. I bet she LIKES to tweet. We’ll be live-tweeting the whole 90 days! (is that a thing?)

Here’s how I sealed the deal with Holly (on Facebook, of course):

Holly Myer:  So maybe April 1? or before? your call!

James Sie: Hmm... April 1 has a nice ring to it, but maybe that's just me wanting to procrastinate.

Holly:  No, it sounds good! There's an "I'm not foolin' ya" joke in there somewhere

James:  And while it'll probably just be you and me, we'll give it a shot. Forward!!

Holly:  GO US!

James:  Oh, this'll be good. I can already see I'm going to be the crusty curmudgeonly one.
Not sure yet of the format of the reportage... I guess it depends on how pithy we are.

Holly: Gotcha. Well, I'm up for whatever format allows me to properly express unapologetic optimism

James: Oy. All right, grandpa needs his shut-eye. 

Holly:  Thanks! And FB is good! I'm also on Twitter & Instagram @hollymyer
if you want to follow me for on-the-hour Zac Efron updates

James Sie:  (Long sigh)...             yes.

You can tell Holly is young by her lack of punctuation at the end of her instant messages. Call me old-fashioned, I like a good period.

Join us! We can shake our collective heads at Holly’s unbridled positivity. And then she can teach us how to set our VCR’s DVR’s. Take a look at Holly's take on our little challenge here. And let me know if you want in on the challenge by posting in the comments section below, or private message me on Facebook. Or... (long sigh)     you can tweet me. 

update: Holly informs me that, yes, you can live-tweet anything. She once live-tweeted a mixed tape. Clever girl.